This question has come up multiple times in the last couple of months. I've never been asked this before having Korbin. But I can't deny his existence, short as it was, and so I say yes. But I'm honest and I give the whole truth. Part of me is thinking, you poor thing, you'll be sorry you asked. And they're always shocked, definitely completely unsuspecting of the answer I give.
Society and our culture are so expectant when it comes to having children. A positive pregnancy test equals a baby. Being married equals having kids. Knowing the harsh reality of how off-base these expectations are has left me very bitter. I no longer see pregnancy as a guarantee to having children. And this in turn makes me feel like the poor, sad, childless mother who doesn't want to bring everyone around me down to the level of hurt and sadness that I know. I think that's why I have trouble letting others see my tears. They don't need to know my pain. Even though I desperately need them to understand. They won't and they don't.
Despite the sadness that has settled in my heart, I got a lotta love to give.
Society and our culture are so expectant when it comes to having children. A positive pregnancy test equals a baby. Being married equals having kids. Knowing the harsh reality of how off-base these expectations are has left me very bitter. I no longer see pregnancy as a guarantee to having children. And this in turn makes me feel like the poor, sad, childless mother who doesn't want to bring everyone around me down to the level of hurt and sadness that I know. I think that's why I have trouble letting others see my tears. They don't need to know my pain. Even though I desperately need them to understand. They won't and they don't.
Despite the sadness that has settled in my heart, I got a lotta love to give.
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