I'm angry that I didn't get in to medical school this year, which makes me angry at myself for not doing whatever it is I should have done to get in. Then I start to wonder if I'm smart enough, which leads me to being angry at my step mom for always telling me I was too stupid to do anything with my life. And then I'm back to being angry at myself for thinking those thoughts that I know are so far from the truth.
But I am getting through the anger stage. It's hard, but it definitely fuels me to figure out what I need to do more or even just better. To show them in the next round that I am meant to be there alongside other physicians.
It's not easy to explain why I want to be a physician, but I do know I have always wanted it. To be the guide to people's health and well-being, help them make better life style choices. To know the answers to their ailments and be there to solve the mysteries of the body. I crave that, immerse myself in it daily, and want so much more to do with it. I'm so held back at my current position in life, I'm just itching to break free of the current chains that bind me so I can be my best version of myself. Taking care of people.
All because I got a lotta love to give.