Monday, November 7, 2011

Hurry up and wait...

Primary application. Check. Decent passport style photo. Check. Secondary applications and payments. Check. Check. Credit card payment. Paypal payment. Echeck. Check, check and check.... I've been writing my little heart out, digging deep and doing all sorts of soul searching. It's scary being so open and honest, it makes me feel vulnerable. And almost makes me second guess myself. Should I have been so honest? I know the answer to that, of course. And that's why I don't actually second guess any of it.
So now I'm waiting, and hoping. Praying. Wishing it were just so much easier. But I understand the process. All I can do now is continue to prepare myself for interviews. Practicing speaking techniques, staying calm under pressure, researching ethical issues to have a stance or at least an understanding of them, and being confident in my thoughts and explanations. I definitely feel much more calm this time around, already having been through the interview process at two very different schools. And excited too. Not quite the naive excitement that I felt last year, but excited about what the future holds for me and for my family no matter what the outcome is. So much good is happening, and things just feel on track. Like I'm headed in the right direction. It's an amazing feeling and gives me that extra boost of self confidence.
I applied to 13 schools total, and three have already sent me their rejection letters. Ten schools remain.  I just need to stay focused and keep working hard, reading and broadening my understanding of the medical field, ethics, and even research. I have to make this happen for myself, because I got a lotta love to give.