I've been baking a ton lately, just trying to keep busy with anything possible. And I like it. I like being a 'holly home-maker' and doing stuff I can give to others. The neighbors we enjoy hanging out with often are always cooking for us, so I figure it's the least I can do to repay them. Today I brought over some mini apple tarts, telling Lan I have just been in such a baking mood lately. She got a twinkle in her eye, smiled, and asked, 'are you..?' I immediately said no. In my head I'm thinking, hello, of course I'm not pregnant right now. But I didn't feel hurt by her asking me. Culturally, it makes sense; in Thai/Vietnamese culture you look forward and keep trying, just accepting what's happened. But more than anything, her compassion with us has kept me drawn to her for comfort.
This made me question why, when I've begun shutting out so many because they're pregnant/having their babies (who are all surviving) or those who keep saying hurtful things (that they don't mean, but they just don't need to say all the same), I keep turning to my neighbor, or my about-to-pop-any-day-now closest girl friend. And it all boils down to their incredible compassion, and willingness to listen to my need to talk about Korbin, and acceptance of my brutal honesty.
Sometimes I guess I do still got a lotta love to give.
:)Reading this brought a smile to my face. I'm so glad you are enjoying baking (you are sooo good at it! I still dream of your quiche). Glad to hear that you have such a supportive neighbor too, she sounds awesome! Thinking of you, Ry & Korbin.
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