Preparing for Korbin's arrival we began to clean out the second room so I could make his nursery. Theme picked out, furniture registered for and designed with my dad. The last bit was getting the computer out of there so we could set it up.
Well, we never got to do that. And coming home from the hospital Ry decided I needed to be protected from seeing all of the wonderful baby items we had collected. He had my sister take the furniture to her place for storage and everything else boxed up.
I didn't enter the other room for a while. I couldn't even call it anything. I would choke as I got to the word 'nursery' because we couldn't call it that any more. And that broke my heart.
And so it became the other room. Not the second bedroom, or even the office. Just, the other room.
I read that having all the items gone suddenly is actually worse emotionally. It helps to hold the clothes, sit in the rocking chair. So I've asked my sister for all the furniture back, and the few outfits Ry and I bought are out for whenever I need them.
Maybe someday we'll use the rocking chair and bassinet. Who knows. Until then my focus in life is still my grief from losing Korbin. And for him, I got a lotta love to give.
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