A Doctors thoughts

A couple weeks ago I was in a retrieval when the doc doing the procedure began explaining to everyone in the room how a parent feels when they lose a child. After she went over the grief and pain of the loss, she described the guilt and strong and overpowering it becomes. At this point I started to think, 'did she forget I was there? Is she totally oblivious to me shaking now, about to burst into tears as she explains away how I feel like she can even attempt to understand?'
Suddenly she just stopped talking. The whole room was quiet. And then she asked how I was doing. I stuttered at first and then just said 'I'm fine' and hoped she didn't see the pain or anger in my face. I assume she wanted to know if I was behind on tubes and left it at that. Did she really care how I was feeling? Did she realize what she was doing and stop herself? Who knows. Sometimes I switch to avoidance with people because it's really not necessary for every person I see to know my pain and I'm dealing with it currently. It's just not worth the battle. And I don't have the energy sometimes either.
It can be so frustrating too when some talk about what I'm going through like they totally get it. But, I have to do my best to refocus my energy, save it up, for those who really genuinely care about me. Though they may (hopefully) never understand fully what I deal with on a daily basis, their patience and continual compassion is amazing. And for them, I got a lotta love to give.