The Stepmom

In high school my friends referred to her as the wicked stepmother, and I was Cinderella. We didn't get along, or agree on anything. I flat out did not like her. And I couldn't stand how constantly mean and bitter she was.
Now we have an awful thing in common and it kind of scares me. While I was brooding over how much I hated her in high school, she endured four miscarriages, and then a loss at 20weeks. The last was I think the hardest because, if I remember correctly, she had to have the fetus removed and was told to forget about it since, per the doctor doing the procedure, she didn't want this baby anyway. Barely over 12years ago this is how women were told to handle such a devastating loss.
So now, I see her in a different light. I understand the bitterness. I'm bitter, and even a bit mean too. Not that I want to hurt anyone around me, but I'm just hurting so damn much it bursts out of me in other negative ways.
This makes me so utterly grateful for what doctors finally know now, that mothers need to see their child, hold him and love him for as long as needed before saying goodbye. They need the time, and to have their grief and loss acknowledged. All things she never had, until now. With support group and online forums and self help books, I'm in a way encouraging her to show her love for her lost little angels. And finally acknowledging the many devastating losses she endured. Like lighting candles on October 15th for the pregnancy and infant loss remembrance day.
Despite being told to just forget about them, I know she never will. They are forever in her heart, just as Korbin is forever in mine now.
I am a bit scared that I will forever be the bitter person I've always seen my stepmom as, but at the same time knowing there are so many more resources for mothers like me helps a little. We have a connection now, and I see her in such a different light now. Losing happiness does this to a person. And, in an extremely unfortunate way, losing my precious Korbin has shown me that, even for my stepmom, I got a lotta love to give.