Last night at support group, one of the mom's and I were exchanging our contact info when we discovered a silly connection in our grieving processes. She got my info, and then was writing me a text so I would have hers. She looked up at me suddenly while finishing the text with an exclamation point saying, "I remember when I could first use one of these again." I said, "Oh my God, I couldn't use them for the longest time too!"
In emails, responding to texts, or even posting on Facebook, there was no way I was going to use an exclamation point. I mean, I'm still having trouble even feeling a twinge of excitement for anything. And that's exactly what an exclamation point means to me; excitement. I even boycotted smiley faces, which I've used entirely too much of in the past anyway. But again, no excitement, nothing to be all smiley about.
This other mom and I totally felt delighted that the other had boycotted exclamation points. I think I'm so completely alone in how I deal with my emotions, so it's comforting to find when I'm not so alone.
It sucks to make new friends this way, to have such a deep connection with someone because we both lost our sons. But it's so good to find each other. And these connections remind me that I got a lotta love to give.
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