Password

Sometimes I pick something uber personal, something that nobody knows. When I went back to work, I couldn't for the life of me remember my log in, at least that's what I told Kallie so that I didn't have to use my old password set just before losing Korbin. It had been Korbin's name and due date, something I picked and set out of excitement and the fact that we weren't telling anyone his name until we had him.
So, my first day back at work I couldn't bear to type in something that no one was supposed to know yet, such a painful reminder of what was supposed to be. I have of course now changed it, thinking it would be too painful to try and use again. And yet, having changed it hurts just as much as it means I'm still living through each day without him. Every time I enter it I think of what it should be, essentially making even a completely random password painful each time I use it. Even I can't win for losing. Either it hurts to keep it out and in my face each day or it hurts to change it as it feels like I am trying to not remember.
The silliest, most random little things remind me of Korbin, and that I still got a lotta love to give.