Another dream

Last night, I had kind of restless dream about life with Korbin. This is my third dream of him now since June 1st.
I was taking Korbin to school, and at this particular school I have to be with, and work with, him all the time. This is because he's pretty developmentally disabled from being born so prematurely and suffering through such harsh contractions so early in development. So, he needs a lot of help learning very basic things in life. Essentially I'm left choosing between helping him or working still. I obviously can't do both, but he needs me, so I choose him in the end.
This dream shows two things I'm struggling with currently. One, if he were still here, he would not be the perfect baby boy we had imagined. He would have a lot of developmental issues from his body enduring the contractions for so long. He was so bruised when he was born. So tiny and fragile. And two, will I be able to work still when we have more kids? Before having Korbin, it was clear that I was going to be a working mom. I have always wanted that and really dreamed of nothing else. Now that we've had him, I can think of nothing else but spending every waking moment with our future children. I can't stand the thought of losing precious time with them. I've already lost it all with Korbin. So I am trying to hold on extra tight to whatever time I may have with future children.
Of course, this thought of staying home was never part of Ryan's and my master plan, and the idea not only scares him (financially, I believe, as we're both contributors now but it would all be on him then), but I think he would be jealous too. He feels the same way and doesn't want to lose time with our future children either. But we can't both stay home and not work. And I'm pretty sure I'd be jealous if it were him staying home with them.
We both will need a lot of time with our future kids, because we got a lotta love to give.