How? I am really struggling with this now. The holidays are just rough, they suck. And it's because my baby is gone and my heart and arms yearn to have him here to fill the void I feel in life now.
In support group last week the facilitator hit the nail on the head when she said that not only does she mourn the loss of her child, but she also mourns the loss of herself. And it's so true. The day Korbin died, I died too. The old me. Gone and replaced by a new me that I'm still trying to figure out and get to know.
In my case, how do I not let the most devastating loss a person can experience change me. How do I not let my struggles now not become my new identity?
I know I need to overcome my struggle, to take the reins my life again. But how and when? I know I keep asking those two questions over and over again. It's just hard to find strength through the pain. And I just still don't get why. Why? Why us? Why Korbin? Life was so perfect. So much happiness lost. Maybe someday my strength will come to me. And I hope I can find it through all of this, because I got a lotta love to give.
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