Since Korbin was born

Generally, when I am referring to June 1st, I say 'when we lost Korbin.' Sums it up pretty well, I think. But I had never thought about how negative I had made that day until a coworker was asking me something and said 'when Korbin was born.' I bet for her she wanted to refer to that day in a way that hopefully didn't elicit any emotional pain. And it struck me in that moment how negatively I look back at June 1st.
I think it's pretty obvious why I look at that fateful day with such contempt. I mean, yes, my baby was born. He was brought into this world. But he came too soon to a cruel, short-lived world in which I was completely powerless in trying to save him. It's hard to look back happily, positively, with such heaviness in my heart still. Looking back, wishing I didn't have to keep moving forward. At times I feel like people around me think I'm such a negative Nancy, because I'm 'just okay', not excited about life any more, and still wanting to talk about Korbin. I wonder if they're thinking, "isn't she over that yet?"
At the same time, I have to realize for myself that Korbin did happen. He was born, even if it was too soon. And he was so precious, tiny, and beautiful. I know I'm totally biased being that I'm his mother, but he was the most beautiful baby I have ever laid eyes on. I couldn't have dreamed of a more beautiful child. My baby angel.
Lately I have tried to say 'when Korbin was born' more often, and I'm finding it feels good inside to do so. Like I'm emotionally recognizing even more so the life he had, instead of the death that came so unexpectedly. Plus, I feel a warmer response from whoever I am talking to, like they are more able to engage in what I'm about to say compared to when I talk about Korbin's death. I'm beginning to see so much more love in his little life that he had. And so I need to continue to focus on that, no matter how short-lived it was, because I got a lotta love to give.