What a load of crap.
Seriously, at least that's where I am right now. Feeling Korbin's absence even more the past couple of weeks. So really, I hate hearing that from people right now.
Honestly, I've disliked that from the very beginning. I'm the one who has to go to bed each night, wishing and hoping and thinking and praying I'll finally wake up from this nightmare, only to wake up and face yet another day without Korbin. It breaks my heart that time keeps passing, that it's already been over four months. That I just have to keep living each day now with this hole in my life.
Today we went to Crabfest, our annual trip to Port Angeles. A beautiful drive that ends in me eating too much rich, buttery, fresh caught crab, and Ry and me spending the rest of our time there wandering around the port. As we were leaving, I saw a flash of an image of us with Korbin. He was in the stroller, and we looked so happy, having such a great time as a family. Complete with a bright red stuffed crab souvenir for the nursery. In an instant the image was gone, just as quickly as it had come to me. And I about crumbled on the spot. It tears at my heart, and churns my stomach. The pain is still so fresh as we still have to go through all the things we wanted to do and share with Korbin alone, just the two of us now. The last time we were there, I was 18wks pregnant, and that day I felt Korbin's fluttering movements for the first. We returned today empty.
I read the holidays are hard, I just didn't expect it to be so hard already. I miss my baby so much. My son whom I want with me more than anything now.
I got a lotta love to give.
Seriously, at least that's where I am right now. Feeling Korbin's absence even more the past couple of weeks. So really, I hate hearing that from people right now.
Honestly, I've disliked that from the very beginning. I'm the one who has to go to bed each night, wishing and hoping and thinking and praying I'll finally wake up from this nightmare, only to wake up and face yet another day without Korbin. It breaks my heart that time keeps passing, that it's already been over four months. That I just have to keep living each day now with this hole in my life.
Today we went to Crabfest, our annual trip to Port Angeles. A beautiful drive that ends in me eating too much rich, buttery, fresh caught crab, and Ry and me spending the rest of our time there wandering around the port. As we were leaving, I saw a flash of an image of us with Korbin. He was in the stroller, and we looked so happy, having such a great time as a family. Complete with a bright red stuffed crab souvenir for the nursery. In an instant the image was gone, just as quickly as it had come to me. And I about crumbled on the spot. It tears at my heart, and churns my stomach. The pain is still so fresh as we still have to go through all the things we wanted to do and share with Korbin alone, just the two of us now. The last time we were there, I was 18wks pregnant, and that day I felt Korbin's fluttering movements for the first. We returned today empty.
I read the holidays are hard, I just didn't expect it to be so hard already. I miss my baby so much. My son whom I want with me more than anything now.
I got a lotta love to give.
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