A Year Ago Today

With the year comes mini anniversaries of the many firsts we had with Korbin. Some may think,'hey, it's a new year to help move forward easily.' Maybe even make new memories. But it's still difficult in that we'll be going through the difficult days of special moments we'll cherish forever. They're beautiful memories, but hard to think about at times as they remind me of who and what I'm now missing.
So, to start this new part of my journey, a year ago today I woke up knowing something was different. That finally, after eight months of negative after negative after negative, today was going to change my life forever. I remember staring at the stick thinking,'that second line isn't there, I'm imagining it.' So I took a picture more so to confirm it was truly there than to keep as a memory. But thank God I took it and kept it (turns out you can keep the stick and the lines stay...don't ask me how I know that and no I don't have the one pictured below). I immediately texted the picture to Ryan who was already at work for the day. I then called to make sure he got it. He hadn't yet so I said I'm pregnant and he said,'good job.' He didn't want anyone at his work to know anything, but his response still cracks me up.
This moment definitely changed my life, just not in the way I had hoped for in that moment. Now I wonder how this will go next time, whether we'll feel the same excitement, or if we'll be too scared to really feel excited. So much to work through just to build our family.
But I got a lotta love to give.