Surviving Winter

As the days slowly get longer, I feel myself breathing a sigh of relief that I survived the cold, dark and depressing winter months. When winter was approaching, I dreaded the days getting shorter. I could only look to the winter time as an extremely dark time of depression and inability to do anything. And it was that for a time. Ry and I both just stopped working out completely, we ate whatever comfort food we could find, drank too much with the neighbors and other friends, and really kind of hibernated for about a month and a half.
Now, amazingly, I am feeling a sense of renewed energy. Even a possible thirst for life and what it has to offer to us now. We're both working hard in our career paths, setting goals and starting to do what's necessary to reach them. We set up gym memberships at the end of last week. And I'm slowly adjusting our diet to have more fruits and veggies instead of being loaded with deliciously comforting carbs. It's all a positive adjustment, which feels very refreshing and so needed.
This will sound odd, but I remember thinking to myself, 'Thank God summer came into full bloom when Korbin died.' There was heat and sunshine and I did yard work to keep my hands busy. If there had been the typical Seattle rain for too long, I don't believe that I would be so far along in my grief journey now.
I think my heart is healing. I think I've accepted Korbin's absence in our lives. It doesn't suck any less, and I'm not at full peace with our lot in life, but I'm seeing the light at the end of the long dark tunnel we've been traveling.
And now I'm thinking, 'Thank God for a mild winter.' No power outages in the bitter cold with snow falling and wondering how Ry will get to work and whether we'll have work or if patients will cancel. No crazy storms to wreak havoc on our home and car. Thank God.
I know there are still grey days ahead, both literally and figuratively speaking. But I've weathered the worst of it with sunshine on my back. Thank God. And the sunshine is returning to get us through whatever phase we're headed toward now.
I've got a lotta love to give.