What a lucky little guy

I met with a couple of good friends from the lab I worked at during college last week. They're both older women, one with grand children and the other not far behind. And they are very dear to me, so their company was definitely needed. Melanie is on Facebook and read my post about putting baby stuff away. She decided to email as that didn't seem right, especially since she knew how far along I should be. After much conversation with her and Barbara, going over the events of June 1st, sharing pictures, and just discussing my loss and how it's affecting me, Melanie was struck with my continued deep love for Korbin. She said, 'What a lucky little guy, to have two parents who still love him so much.'
I love Korbin with a love I didn't know was possible. It's depth, it's wholeness. I didn't know I could love someone so much. My heart aches from the hole that's left now that Korbin's gone. I hope in time it's swallowed up by the love I will always have for him. That I can keep him forever in my heart. Another dear friend, Ari, said that although he's gone, his love is pouring down on us. And I really need to hear that. There is so much bottled up inside, sometimes I feel I'm bursting at the seams. I just need my baby to take care of. Yes, I have the dogs and Ryan, the house and whatnot to care for. But none of that comes close to the bond I had with Korbin and how much I was looking forward to building on that as Ryan and I raised our beautiful son.
I got a lotta love to give.