Energy

Throughout the past few (okay, four and a half) years, my energy levels have seriously dipped. Early on it was just the excuse of not getting enough sleep because, hey, every new mom understands that. Then it was that I was staying up late to do the things I wanted to do but didn't have time during the regular day; you know, trying to find myself again. Lately though, I've been getting to bed at a reasonable hour, sleeping hard most nights, napping, exercising semi-regularly. So why am I so tired?

Oh yeah, I do a lot.

A. LOT.

This seriously just dawned on me today. I pack as much as I possibly can in to my days because there is so much I want to do. Gardening, fixing things, refinishing old furniture, painting for fun and painting to update rooms, cleaning, cooking from scratch each evening and prepping lunches, reading, keeping up (kind of) with our favorite TV shows, making plans with friends, attempting to write more often, instagraming, work, commuting, taking care of my husband and my four year old, puppies, chickens, sketching, sewing, planning outdoor adventures for the family, traveling. Life. It really never dawned on me that I'm tired because I'm so busy. Most days I feel like there's just so much, and nothing is really being touched. In reality, I'm doing so much, just not necessarily the fun things I want to focus on all the time.

It all boils down to balance, and making sure that fulfilled feeling is felt daily, whether from reading an interesting article I had saved weeks prior, painting for half an hour, or getting a quick work out in. These things all make me who I am now, even if most of them are barely touched for large chunks of time. In finding the right balance, one has to prioritize what needs to happen now with what would be really great to have happen at any point during that day. During the less-than-balanced days, the tired feeling definitely creeps up more. And sometimes there are less-than-balanced periods of time that last for weeks, or even a month or two, at a time. I realized today that it's during these long durations that I feel more tired and therefore less fulfilled.

Time to restructure, refocus, and carve out the small chunks of time I need to be me through all the craziness that is life and it's overly scheduled madness. Making sure each day has even just one of the extra things I love fills me with the joy and excitement to power me through the day, an insatiable internal energy that is only satisfied once I've painted, or sewed, or been in the garden pulling weeds, even if only for 15 minutes.

I love this life we're living now, and feel as if am better better able to give to and care for others when feeling fulfilled.

Time to paint!

Because I've got a lotta love to give.