Chill

At times, when life is overwhelming and flying by (wait, isn't that all the time?!), one would not know how obsessive I am about keeping things together and organized. Currently there are a few piles about the house: magazines for a quiet afternoon (yeah right), Seven's vet bills and pill schedules (I made calendars with time stamps for each med he's on so we know what he needs to take, how many, and exactly when), bills to pay, and even just general paperwork to look at and then toss. Seriously though, I am forever reorganizing things; life, work, none of it is ever perfectly organized. While there is a joy that comes with this obsession, there is also a load of stress and anxiety as well.
Keeping things tidy includes keeping shoes and clothes, accessories, free of lint and even specks of dust. Imagine my horror when an employee at a grocery store swiped my white leather purse with his permanent marker. Thankfully I was able to send the purse in to Coach to have it tidied up. But whew boy, I was livid.
Shoes get dirty. I mean, you walk around in them and they protect your feet from getting wet and dirty. But if my shoes get dirty, I panic. My grey Vans slip ons had a branch fall on the top while at the Seattle Center for Brick Con earlier this year and the small bit of a brown mark it left almost made my head explode. Ryan, who's even more obsessive about keeping things tidy that I am, just said, "meh, shoes get dirty." Seriously Mr. Clean. [insert side eye here]
Basically, if things get out of order, get dirty, get messy, I am thrown off and my head might just explode. This is really awesome when there's a kid in the mix. It has been such a learning curve, like, seriously steep! Trying to remain calm when a four year old is just being a four year old is my daily challenge. Well, one of them at least. And yet, tonight, P wiped my new pants (that I spent too much on) with his chocolate covered ice cream cone, leaving a brown swipe just above the knee. After dinner I asked him to keep his hands to himself as the fried lumpia left his hands super greasy. He touched my pants and left a grease mark. Typically, I would have a mini flip out episode. But I'm realizing lately that I just need to chill. We all just need to chill. I can wash the pants. They are just clothes that will get worn and worn down eventually. Life is too short. And there's so much more to life that being spotless. Life is messy. And that's what makes it interesting.
Here's to letting things get a bit more messy and not freaking out about it constantly.
Because I got a lotta love to give.