Day 19: Music

Day 19: Music. Songs of lost love are really what get to me. Loving a child is probably the deepest love one can know. I could only liken the heartache to a moment when I thought I'd lost Ryan forever. Indescribable. 'Wide Awake' by Katy Perry really captured my feelings, especially the lyrics above. Life was so perfect and beautiful, like a dream. And I was ripped into reality, literally crashing down from how high on life I was.

But I still got a lotta love to give.

Day 18: Seasons

Day 18: Seasons. Spring is new life after the harsh darkness of the winter. And yet I have the hardest time with Spring now, and it's transition into summer. I remember so looking forward to my growing belly, to Korbin getting big and plump and ready for the outside world. It's crazy how quickly life changes, and what an imprint it leaves on your heart.

But I still got a lotta love to give.

Day 5: Empathy

I so cherish the moments when others say Korbin's name. It's comforting to know Ryan and I aren't the only ones thinking of him. I have a friend who often calls Parker Korbin when asking about P. And though I think she feels bad for thr slip up, I love it. It always makes me smile. Others may think to not mention Korbin to protect our hearts, but talking about him can only help us heal.

Because we got a lotta love to give.

Day 4: Light and Dark

I had to capture this quote because it represents my daily struggle. That life is bittersweet. Even the happiest of moments are tinged with sadness, knowing they are really not complete, that someone is missing. But we just have to keep going and find the most joy possible in each moment.

Because we got a lotta love to give.

Day 3: Honour

This project/journey is in loving memory of our first son, Korbin Sadiq Love. Most times when strangers ask if P is our first, it's easy to say, 'no, we had a son before him.' But there are days where it's too hard on my heart to even fully answer and the best I can get out is, 'he's our first son with us.' I have to acknowledge K, though, or I feel so guilty. Because he was wanted and still is so loved and missed.

And because I got a lotta love to give.

Day 2: Intention

I intend to not let my grief overshadow the beautiful blessing I have with me, in the name of my precious child, Korbin. There are days where I feel I will be swallowed up by grief when something triggers the tears to flow. But I have to keep my eyes on Parker and remember that he IS here and needs me and so I must be here for him.

Because I got a lotta love to give.

Day 1: Sunrise

I am participating in the #captureyourgrief movement again this year. This is for yesterday, and if you like you can also follow along via instagram @lisaklove or through my facebook.

This was just so perfect for yesterday. Typical fall Seattle sunrise. Describes where I am in my grief journey to a T. Here's to hoping I can sort through the many emotions I'm dealing with daily, and to hopefully coming out of the fog. Thinking of Korbin, as always, and all of the beautiful and amazing moms and dads - and the beautiful little lives lost too soon - that I've met since losing him.

Because I got a lotta love to give.