The day started off so relaxed, just the three of us at home hanging out, Ry and I working on our own projects (minis and yard work). I picked out Ps holiday outfit (so fun to do!):
It fit him too! He's long enough now for the 3mo clothes (growing so fast!), which I totally wasn't expecting. We went to my sister and brother-in-law's and the conversations I had were with two other mom's there discussing parenting and going to work and child development. And I really enjoyed every moment of it. This compared to having a close friend over the other night who is single without kids and how much I struggled to keep up a conversation with him. Yup, life has changed! But most definitely for the better.
We left early to be sure the pups could be settled with us while the mayhem ensued within our neighborhood. Our neighbors had teased about watering our lawn, but we honestly didn't think too much about it beyond that. Until we got home and saw that the mayhem was practically in our own back yard. And then OUR grass caught on fire. Why on earth someone would set off fireworks in a tiny backyard surrounded by trees instead of the open space of the road in their front yard is beyond me. And on top of that, they were lighting mortars without the tube to shoot them way up in the air, leaving them to explode half in their yard and half in ours (hence the fire). The windows were shaking it was so loud between our houses. They put out the fire immediately, but that didn't stop them in the least. And we were so not impressed.
Looking out our back window and watching the continued explosions, I had this moment of clarity about our neighbors. The same ones we would drink often (and too much) with after losing Korbin. And I realized how we don't need them like we used to. They were an important part of our grieving process, but now that we have P and our grief has evolved and taken new forms, we don't need the crazy partying escape from reality any longer. This doesn't make them bad people, this just made me realize how old I am now. Not as in ancient old, but old as in more mature.
And I am okay with this.
I look at situations in a new light now. And it all surrounds protecting P as well as any part of Korbin we have with is still. And this includes two clothing items I sorted into size appropriate bins for P to wear when he gets big enough. We bought them for Korbin, and I of course saved them, originally thinking we'd just preserve their newness somehow. But I'd actually love to see P wear them. To have them actually be used. And then put them away again for safe keeping. That preservation and safe keeping felt threatened by the thought of fire reaching our garage. Ya, I didn't sleep well until about 3am, when P woke up to eat and I went and checked every inch of our property that I could check from the windows. No more fires, thankfully.
Yup, life has changed yet again. And I am more than okay with the new changes.
Because I got a lotta love to give.
We were so happy to have you guys over!
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