One. Year. Old.

One year old! I am in disbelief, and yet thrilled at the same time. My baby is getting so big, and is still my baby at the same time.

It's amazing how time has flown by this past year. With our first real nursing strike over (thank God! as Ry said, P and I have now worked out our differences), I've been reflecting so much on what it felt like to bring P home from the NICU. There was such a jumble of emotions and feelings. Elated, scared, so full of love, and overwhelmed. And peaceful. That first afternoon at home, just Ryan, P, and me, it was peaceful.

I've also been reflecting on how I feel as a mom. In a word: awkward. Am I doing anything right? God only knows. P has done well so far, I guess that says something. Right!?!

So what is P doing now, so much! He eats everything. I mean EVERYTHING. A lemon made him do this hilarious head quiver body shake...and so he kept eating it. Hilarious! Mushrooms, peas, green beans, carrots, apples, bananas, eggs, chicken, anything except tuna at this point. No matter how we cook it, he chows down. He loved chicken curry! I know this stage won't last forever, so I'm enjoying it for now!

He just started real crawling, and it melts my heart to watch him! He is so adorable. The cutest baby here on Earth, and yes, I know I'm biased. He is also scaling everything and has figured out how to open cabinets. We bought a gate to separate him and the dogs as Seven gets excited and will walk all over him. And Bear is still an old, grumpy dog. Separation is best for now. They do interact, but it's definitely with a watchful eye.

P babbles and tries to communicate with us more, points at things, notices shadows, and dances back and forth to music, too. He does this hilarious sucking in style laugh when he's really cracking up at Ryan (yes, I said AT).

Today we had his first birthday party, and we squeezed family and friends into our tiny home. I kind of went all out (for me), having printed invites mailed and baking cupcakes, making my own paper decorations. This is really the only first birthday I get to plan and make happen, I had to really do it all. And I'm so glad I did. The decor turned our great, P was surrounded by so many people who love and adore him, and we had a blast watching him take it all in.

Turns out P is more of a clean freak than we realized, not wanting the whipped cream in his smash pie all over his hands. But he soon figured out how delicious a treat it was.

I am so looking forward to many more birthdays! I am so grateful P has survived (and thrived in) his first year here with us. He is such a joy to watch and learn with.

Here's to many more years!!

Because we got a lotta love to give.