Taking it all in

Life gets hectic. And with the craziness comes that exhausted, overwhelmed feeling, with nerves slightly fried. Trying to squeeze so much into one day, I find myself forgetting that there's this amazing little person who is changing every day.

I realized last week that P is turning one soon, and I won't have my little baby any more. I will have this adorable just-about-toddler, but the baby days are quickly slipping away. Last week my one day of just P and me was suddenly full with something that had to be done sooner than later. With everything organized, including leaving P in daycare for the day, I found myself near tears that I'd be missing another day with my little man. That we only have so many Fridays left before he's one. Daycare was canceled, and we spent Friday together, busy as it was. We at least had time together!

So much is still happening day to day. From planning Ps first birthday perty at our home, to final touches on our nearly complete bathroom remodel, to crafty art projects, making dinner and washing diapers and deciding what foods to send with P to daycare the next day and laundry and thinking about this blog and wishing I could get to it more often.

Today I started to get caught up in all of the above things, until I realized P was doing his best to speed crawl behind me and keep up with me as I raced around the house. He just needed me.

He nursed, and fell asleep in my arms, and all I could do was hold him close and smile at this beautiful little being, who's ot so little any more!

I miss my baby (babies, really), but I love love LOVE seeing who P is becoming. And so I'm forcing the slow down moments to take it all in.

Because I got a lotta love to give.

Oz Take 2!!

What a fun family adventure! This was P's first trip on a plane, and it was international! I admit, I was so nervous about how he would do with the take offs and time difference. Be he was such a trooper, even when it was almost too hot to sleep.

Within this adventure, P started so many new things: pulling himself up on things to stand, saying the mamamama sound consistently (warms my heart), getting upright to sit from crawling around, climbing stairs and two more teeth came in. So much in such a short time!

He experienced sand on the beach for the first time. Hated the cool pool water that was meant to be refreshing. Took a literal dip head first in another pool (oye, bad parenting moment right there). And got hear Kookaburras and other birds wake him up each morning in Brisbane.

We lost the white jacket on the flight over apparently, haven't seen it since. But with how far we traveled and drove around and packed and unpacked, I'm thankful that's the only casualty of such a wonderful trip.

This was such a fantastic first family trip, a true adventure with such a little guy who traveled so well. People around us on the plane told us they were impressed by how well beghaved he was. Whew! But even if he were to be fussy and upset, I would not have cared if others were upset by it. I would only have wanted to try and make him feel better.

I'm so thankful for the beautiful new memories we made with wonderful friends. I'm thankful for the friends we have in Australia. And for how they remember K and know how special it is to travel with P.

I'm just so thankful.

And I got a lotta love to give.

First Tooth!

Ps first tooth has just broke through! Since he only wants to chew anything that touches his mouth, I don't have a picture just yet. But I'm excited about this next phase in his development.

It's a little bittersweet, though. He's my baby, my tiny, chunky, gummy baby. And yet he's not quite so tiny any more. He's become so tall and lean (though he does still have the chunky chipmunk cheeks). And now he's no longer funny or adorable toothless when he smiles. 

He will be just as adorable, of course. It's just amazing to watch my baby grow and become less and less of a baby. Yet he's still my baby.

I just need to take advantage of all the baby snuggle time I can while he's still a baby!

Because I got a lotta love to give.

Ps first Christmas

This year was our first Christmas with a child with us. One would think, oh that must be just so fun and exciting! Yes, the holiday season leading up to Christmas was good, but Christmas Day was still so hard!

It was hard to get into the Christmas spirit, and making myself do things like shop for others and decorate and bake definitely helped, but a part of me just gets so down this time of year. It's really hard to ignore that piece of me (Korbin) and just be happy. And that sounds so ungrateful! I am seriously so thankful for P, so happy to have him and hold him and love him here with us. But I still miss K, and I know I always will.

There's a Mariah Carey song, I miss you most at Christmastime, that just pulls at my heart strings and brings me so close to tears every time I hear it. And of course it's played a ton this time of year.

I just try my hardest to get into the holiday spirit. The build up to Christmas is the best part, and Christmas Day has become almost a let down now. I honestly thought this year with P would be totally different. I expected it to be. But it still felt the same, somewhat empty with a major piece missing. This is something I'm going to have to overcome as the years go by. If not for me but for P. I need to be present and happy with and for P.

Because I got a lotta love to give.

First Fever

P woke up today, the day after Christmas, with his first fever. It wasn't so bad at first, but it jumped mid day to almost 102, and that's when I started to worry. But I think we did a good job of not over reacting and keeping things under control for our littlest man.

We called the pediatrician, who said it was a good sign he had a cough (never thought I'd be grateful for a cough!) as otherwise solely having a fever could mean something more serious like an ear infection or UTI. Thankfulky P slept a lot with the Tylenol, but when he wasn't sleeping he was pretty fussy (though you wouldn't know it from this picture).

Later on he definitely wasn't feeling well:

Poor guy! It's hard having a sick little man, knowing he's so uncomfortable and there's only so much we can do for him.

I hope he feels better soon! Until then I'll keep doing my best to not panic and just take good care of my sick little man.

Because I got a lotta love to give.

Merry Christmas Korbin!

Today we dropped off a bunch of gifts for an almost 2yo little boy with OI (brittle bone disease). I think this was the first time I really felt excited for Christmas, and it was mostly from being able to give to someone in need. And for giving in Korbin's memory.

I had fun shopping for this little kiddo and wrapping everything up:

Things he needs, and fun toys he wants.

This year felt different, I think because we have Parker now. After dropping everything off, I had this incredible urge to just hold Parker. I couldn't wait to get to him and get him home.

I love continuing to do this in Korbin's memory, and this time it's made me so grateful for P, even more so now.

Because I got a lotta love to give.

3/4 of a Year

Time is flying! (Do I say that with every monthly P update?!) And Parker continues to amaze me with how much he's developing and keeping up with other kiddo's his age (rather than adjusted age of only 7.5mo). I believe his eye color has settled now; a beautiful shade of brown with the occasional flecks of deep blue around the edges.

He makes so many sounds with his tongue now, clucking and raspberries galore. He also figured out how to make sounds by saying something while patting his mouth with the back of one of his hands. Adorable! And so smart.

 He seems to genuinely smile so much more now, and laughs and giggles often. Even after telling his own babbling jokes! So hilarious to see and hear! And he started bowing his head and smiling now, almost in a shy way when seeing someone new, even doing some head banging if he's been crawling around on the floor. 

As for crawling: he still army crawls. But boy does he move! He can almost completely pull himself up to sitting on his own, and almost pulls himself up to standing.

While he becomes more independent (Ryan developed the two spoon method when feeding P: P has his own spoon to 'eat' with while we feed him) with things like holding his bottle himself, he's started to want dad more after daycare. He raises his arms to ask to be picked up, and we can almost have conversations with how much he babbles now.

As for food, he has tried so many things this past month! He loves eggs in the morning and always gets a few bites from my plate. Other foods he enjoys are sweet potatoes, peas, butternut squash and pears. He liked applesauce and bananas, but they did not like him back (his poor butt!). And pumpkin pie was just too much and made him throw up almost immediately.

I'm having more and more fun introducing foods to him. And just so love that we are still nursing! I love the bond we continue to build with that, and need it after all we went through to have him here with us.

Because I got a lotta love to give.