Today I stayed home sick, curled up on the couch under a warm blanket with the TV on while dozing off and on. Towards the evening, while watching probably the third or fourth episode of 'Keeping up with the Kardashians', I started to think about work, school, having a family, and what I would be doing instead if I were say, a physician with kids. Would I be able to just take a sick day for a head cold? How do full time mom's handle sick days? I can't imagine having to change diapers, and run after a kid, when I didn't even leave the couch all day except to use the batthroom. As Ryan and I talk about having a family, I realize ever so slowly how much things will change whenever that happens. Less sleep at night, another mouth to feed, and yet this amazing life to care for and be responsible for. Being a mom will be such an incredible adventure some day.
And I want to be a working mom, so I still wonder about being a physician and taking sick days while also having kids. Supposedly kids are big-time germ carriers thanks to day care and whatnot. How often will I need to worry about possibly being sick? While shadowing an orthopedic surgeon at Children's Hospital in Seattle, I saw more than once physicians at work, sick and feeling awful, but with a face mask on while they saw their patients. Obviously, patients are a priority, so they made the energy needed to get through the day and care for each patient they saw. Is that how mom's do it? There's someone else to care for more important than yourself, and that's what drives you through the day, no matter how awful you're feeling?
I hope someday, as a physician and possibly as a parent, I'll have that energy and drive as my patients will definitely be a priority in my life. Because I got a lotta love to give.
I hope you're feeling better! You totally hit the nail right on the head: once you're a parent you just do it, you just make it work. You have to, so relish your childless days (in terms of more selfish time) while you can. I've been sick a couple times since E was born and I don't know how I did it, but I guess one piece of advice that fits well is: this too shall pass. Eventually you get healthy again and you keep on keepin' on. You're going to do great. Remember the best part about life is that you get to make choices along the way so if something isn't working just right you can fines until it fits better. Having a helpful, active and loving partner to help with the kid(s) when you're sick is invaluable! Something tells me Ryan will be a good parenting partner with you.
ReplyDelete